Wednesday, February 22, 2012

WHAT are you doing?

Ok. Let's set yesterday's joking aside for a minute because I've got something serious on my mind. You know by now that I love people. And I am not one to turn away from a chance to help someone.

Today I disappointed myself.

We live in an old neighborhood. And with old neighborhoods comes some level of unexpected activity along the way. Nothing dangerous, mind you. Just unexpected. We live close enough to downtown that there are people walking around at strange hours within blocks of us.

That being said, I'm also my parents' child. I confront issues head on. And I don't generally wait around for someone to protect me...even if I need protecting. So with Kerry being at Bible study, I didn't think twice about handling this situation myself.  (I did, however, immediately think of the well being of my girls upstairs asleep. Which prompted part of my behavior...)  Anyway...here's my story:

So this morning whilst gathering my thoughts and getting my coffee, I notice some guy walking up my driveway. It's 6 am. That's weird. He sees me....seeing him....and he quickly ducks beside one of our vehicles.

Not to be thwarted in figuring out what was going on outside my window, I went to the side door and opened it. "WHAT are you DOING," I yelled. In response I get sort of a mumble... and catch the word "fence" in there somewhere.  "WHAT???" (I'm trying to sound as mean as possible by the way. Can't let them know you are nervous - even if you are standing their in sweat pants an old tshirt, no bra and a ponytail.)

"I was going to jump your fence to get to the alley," he says as he steps from beside the van.

He was young. Probably less than 30 - and not necessarily homeless looking. He didn't really appear to be dangerous either...whatever "dangerous" looks like. He really probably just didn't have a car and was trying to take a shortcut. (Cynics need not reply to this...)

I, being the "fixer" that I am, respond that he CAN'T jump my fence as it is too tall and that he'll have to go around another way. (Mean voiced but helpful...that's my motto...)

He says, "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry."  Then he starts quickly walking back down the driveway, and I resume my morning routine (ie - coffee, bath, makeup, kids breakfast...etc..) while thinking about him and where he could have been going.

I couldn't wait for Kerry to get home so I could tell him. Because I know he would have the same reaction I did. (His heart bleeds as much or more than mine for people. Good thing we aren't millionaires. We'd give it all away and wish we had more to give.)

I made sure my family was protected. And that's good. But I also know that my entire family would have had the same feeling about not helping him if he needed it that I do now. They would be sad too.

The words "Yes ma'am" reverberated in my brain all day.  I missed an opportunity, I think. He clearly had manners, so someone loved him enough to make sure he knows how to behave. I'm sure he walked away thankful I didn't call the police or shoot him or something. haha  But I was left thinking that I didn't do enough. I didn't offer help. I didn't see what he was doing.

I just didn't do enough.

It won't happen again. Next time I need to ask myself the same question I asked him:  "What are you doing?"


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Handy Boobs!

So I got into this hilarious conversation about body parts with a friend. Through random conversation, we ended talking about their redeeming qualities.

Don't get all worked up. It wasn't sexual in nature. It was one of those general conversations that you have at the end of the day where one subject morphs into another and pretty soon everything gets silly.

For the ladies!!
He, being a guy, seems to think derrieres are preferable to any other.  (What's that about showing your butt? Didn't I write about that once? Hmm..)  I replied, "I'm glad my husband doesn't feel that way." For I was "blessed" with a very flat behind. There's nothing cute and round about it. I'll never stop traffic with my badonkadonk unless I'm accidentally standing in the middle of the street and a scooter crashes into me.

He was extolling all the values of the nice ass - and what style underwear he thinks should be worn. (Apparently thongs are out, ladies. You are supposed to be their eye candy in boy shorts. Don't mind the constant riding up of the fabric...or the uncomfortable spot they sit on your butt cheeks. Oh wait. Maybe only flatties experience that... hmm.. nevermind.  Just do it and be called fabulous.)


I tried to explain that I see more value in boobs. (Now THIS is a subject I can discuss. Because, by golly, I've got boobs....regardless of their placement on my body. They are THERE.) I told him they are handy. His reply: "I doubt they have THAAAT many uses to label them as 'handy'."  And that's when it became apparent that he doesn't have any.



To that end, I bring to you the many uses for boobs:

*They offer distraction.  - Oh don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. A little cleavage is always a game changer. Good or bad - it happens. A little boobage can insight fury amongst women and men alike. The women can't focus because they are analyzing.. "Are those real? Has she had work done?" And the men just can't focus "Pant. Pant. Pant. Pant."

*They encourage support. - When all seems lost in an argument...the ticket is being written...the answer is about to be no... you can be rest assured that a nice set of Ta Tas will likely turn the tide on the unfortunate situation. You don't have to flaunt them. Just having them seems to help out. Big or little...they are a great accessory to any girl's winning personality.

*They promote happiness.  - I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure the only one who complains about her boobs is the girl wearing them. Everyone else seems pretty darn happy with them. I know you all want to comment on this one.

*They provide hours of entertainment.  - How many times have you discussed them?  Be honest. Oh...and guys....get your mind back on the blog please. I know what you are thinking.

And...of course.....

*Wars have likely been fought over them. Of that, I have very little doubt. So they are clearly handy....

Needless to say, we never really got to the bottom (pa dump bump) of the conversation. But knowing this guy, he'd probably have to agree with me that while physical body parts have their merit, a great sense of humor is worth a thousand......umm.... boobs? *hmm....




Monday, February 20, 2012

Monday Musings

I have a terrible cold...so I'm not feeling very wordy.  Just thought I'd pass on a few things I saw that spoke to me today..

I love this. I think I should needlepoint myself a pillow... Let's face it, sometimes we just need to remember ...

No explanation needed.
And to think I thought it was The Pretenders. ;) I just loved this! 

If you've seen my house....
This is soooo me.








And....I found this amazing song that everyone should download..Ben Howard's "Promise"



Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The No Good, Terrible Wednesday

This morning started off pretty bad. I admit it. I wasn't in the best mood when I left. Happy face aside - I was already cranky. Despite my new cute jacket and my messy bun complete with studious glasses, I was *over* it.

There's just nothing fun about getting ready with a 13-year-old. It doesn't matter how much you love that little darling. The experience is enough to make you want to crawl back in bed. Or piss you off to the point of no return. But I pasted on my smile..... I kept going....

Driving to work I found myself completely frustrated with the other drivers on the road. (Yes - more than usual. Stop it, Randi and Kerry....just stop it.) But it seems reasonable to expect other drives to pick a lane and STAY IN IT. Straddling two lanes as you leisurely try to decide which one drives nicer isn't a legal option. I know it isn't.

Add to that the 30 MPH wind and freezing weather that I battled to get in the door to work. I KNOW I put my hair in a messy bun this morning. But it was a calculated messy bun. It's messy by choice - not circumstance!! So I didn't need the wind to help me make it that much messier.

Then - before I even got settled into my office for the day - I walked back outside to help bring in some food from a coworker's car. I was more than happy to help. I'm not complaining about that. But my cute little do got uglier by the moment.

I answer the phone to listen to a friend lament about a crappy argument only to be interrupted with news that some best laid plans were blown. I hung up the phone without finishing my 'listening' session, got to the bottom of the plan not working, got into an argument, and decided I shouldn't have even climbed out of bed to start.

It was the last straw.

And I spent the morning in tears... At my desk... With the door closed...

About the time my head started pounding, my sweet husband sent me flowers. (Florist's wives don't usually worry about Valentine's Day flowers. So the day after is WAY better! haha)

 Then a friend sent a supportive text without even knowing that I needed it. (Ok - it was harassing me about going to the gym..thanks to my stupid FB status about going back to it today....)

I ate a hot dog for lunch. (I love hot dogs....they always make me happy.)

And now I'm wrapping up some random things that have been cluttering my mind. So I think things are finally looking up.

I just might live through this one - with or without any mascara or eyeliner left on my face.

See? Living the dream....just as you always suspected, huh?

Happy Hump Day. Let's put this #$(@# to bed and start over tomorrow. Ya wanna?




Friday, February 3, 2012

It's My Blog and I'll ____ if I Want To...

“Life is a succession of lessons which 
must be lived to be understood.” 
~ Helen Keller

Sorry I've been missing this week. I got BUSY and just didn't have the energy to blog. Terrible excuse, but the truth nonetheless....

Here are a few things I learned this week:

The hardest part of parenting has to be witnessing the natural consequences of your children's mistakes and not being able to "fix" them.   Gracey is struggling with a few classes at school requiring us to pow wow with her teachers about how to get her back on track. (Nothing terrible or earth shattering...just a loss of mojo. A mere hiccup in her academic motivation if you will...) ANYWAY - watching your child be disciplined by others, lectured by others....heck.. even redirected by others.... is SO hard. I don't know who ended up crying more tears over the whole situation - me or Gracey. All I know is that it once again reminded me of how much I love my kids - and gave me another perspective on how God must feel when I screw up and have to suffer the consequences of my actions.  

Sometimes you just need someone to get mad with you. With everything going on this week, I found myself overly emotional. Stupid little things went wrong and got me all riled up. And the people who helped me the most were the ones who joined me in my frustration and said things like, "That stinks!"  "What is THAT about?" "Who does he think he is??"  "That's CRAP!" Heck, it could have just been about some little frustration. It didn't matter what the issue happened to be. It only mattered that I had a crew on my side.  Don't we often forget to do that for each other? We want to fix the issue. Change the scenario. Give advice. But in reality...all the other person needs to hear is that you are just standing in solidarity - ready to fight the good fight right beside him/her. 

Reality sneaks up on you sometimes. I had plans to eat lunch with Jason (my bestie) this weekend because I was going to be in "his" town and haven't had a chance to see him in a while. Our plans got sidetracked because he has chemo this weekend. Amazing how quickly happiness turns to sadness sometimes. Breaks my heart to even hold a conversation with my best friend that includes words like "cancer"or "chemo".  Not fair, I say. NOT fair.  Add him to your prayers tonight. Remember...he has to be with me in the nursing home when we are old. I need someone to harass.

 He'd die if he realized I was blogging about him...but it's my blog and I'll call him out if I want to...out if I want to... OUT if I want to..  Ooopss... sorry... bursting into song isn't appropriate for this subject, is it? ;) haha  I love you MOST, Jase. So there.

The best recipes can be found on Pinterest. This is self explanatory. But trust me....it's true. Tonight I made Spicy Romano Chicken. It was worth every calorie. (She says tonight while wearing sweats that stretch...)

Ok. That's all I've got. Hope you had a good week. Let's all raise a glass to the weekend! I need it!