Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Take It Off!

“I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, 
but you must eat it with naked fat people." ~ Anonymous

So, while I hesitate to discuss this because "putting it out there" somehow gives fodder to those who either want to offer advice or watch for failure, I will simply mention that I'm on a quest to eat cleaner, eat less and shed some of my VBF. (That's Visible Back Fat for those who aren't familiar with this very unfortunate affliction.) I tell you only to set the stage for what is sure to burn some calories and give you a fit of giggles. Stay with me...

While on my quest mentioned above, I have enlisted the only kind of REAL help I prefer...my friends. Wait. Wait. Wait.  Not ALL of my friends. I love and adore my health conscious friends. I do. But they aren't the ones I need when I'm just looking for someone to complain with - and to appreciate when I say, "I only took 1 bite of the donut! WOOT WOOT!" I can't deal with all of their suggestions, cheerleading (STOP THE CLAPPING) and very well-meaning advice about exercise, etc. I just can't. It's too much. 

No. I went to my friends with whom I have previously suffered through dieting. Those who have the same snarky attitude about it. And those who can laugh with me through the pain of making healthy choices. You know.... my "gurls" that have been with me through thick and thin - LITERALLY. (You know who you are....)

Kelly, one of the quickest witted people on the planet, was really my inspiration for this change of heart. I complained about my growing waistline, and she commiserated. Then she told me that she'd been working on herself, and that she'd love to have a buddy. 

She got me on the wagon.....pulled it a little.....added a blankie and a cute pony to dress it up...and, finally, delivered me the comedic goods to get me started. In the spirit of this friendship, I am going to share the comedy with you. (Don't go running to be her best friend after you read this either. She's MINE. ALL MINE...)

The story goes that a cubicle vacancy occurred at her office, and she wanted it. Not because her cubicle was undesirable, but because it was next to the "kitchen" cubicle where people brought snacks for all to enjoy. Kelly knew that if she was to succeed in shrinking her physique, she'd have to move.  When the normal channels didn't work for getting moved, she pulled out all the stops. 

She launched the "Changing Cubicle Campaign."  Below you will see just how she worked her magic.

It started on Monday.... using the only "art supplies" she could find in the "snack" cubicle...


When that didn't work, she moved onto Tuesday...

Then Wednesday..she got REALLY creative...


Thursday, she opted for sympathy....


At that point, someone took pity on Kelly and moved the snack cubicle. Then they added a new hire and took away the temptation for anyone to move it all back! WHEW! What a relief, right?

So there you have it.  We all have our battles. Mine is currently VBF. Kelly's was a food cubicle.

And so begins our journey of laughter, lettuce and lackluster eating.

I know. I know. You wish you could be me. Don't be that way. Jealousy is worse the VBF....






Saturday, March 15, 2014

Parent Taught!

Today I got to thinking about some of the things we have inadvertently taught our girls. That whole "nature vs. nurture" definitely isn't in question. This is ALLLLL nuture. Whether they are just a funny little habits or expectations, they are without a doubt things that can be traced directly back to me or Kerry. (I can definitely trace some of my idiosyncracies back to my parents too. As you read these, think about the ones you can trace to yours!

Everything has a plan.  Yep. I'm guilty. It started when Gracey was a baby and I read that book "Baby Wise" about scheduling. Everything we did with her involved a schedule and a plan. As she got older, as Sadie came along, and as our lives got busier, I got to where I'd start every day/event/vacation with an announcement. "Ok, girls, here's the plan...." They seem to be pretty good at doing things on the fly, but you can almost always expect one of them to ask "So, Mommy, what's the plan?" Sadie will often start listing things off as she looks for the order in which things will be happening. 

"Thank You" Our girls say thank you for EVERYTHING. If we get them a glass of water, pass them the remote control or buy them a gift, they offer thanks. It warms my heart every time I hear it. No, they don't have to thank me for buying them shoes or paying for their school supplies. It's part of the job. But they do it EVERY time. And this one Kerry and I are truly proud of; because, while we know that we made an effort to teach them to be polite, we didn't realize how well we'd done it. (I see this in some of the girls' really good friends too. It's a sign of excellent parenting, if I do say so myself. So pat yourself on the back if your kids do it too.) 

Sing in the Car. Did you sing with your kids when they were little? Do you still? Because the minute the girls here a great song on the radio, they start belting the words out and often dancing in their seats. It's something we've just always done. If it isn't music in the car, it's music in the house. Can't sing well? Who cares?! Sing anyway! Because if you are hanging out with us, you won't be able to contain yourself!

Festival? Sign Me Up! We love festivals and farmer's markets. Seriously love them. I'm not sure either of the girls will ever be able to pass one up. It doesn't matter what kind or where. They will even ask if there's one going on when we start planning a trip. They love theme parks too - but I honestly think they might pick a festival or market over a theme park!

I'm sure there are a million more...but those are the ones that come to mind right off the bat! (And I won't even get into the whole pet thing....we all know what pet fanatics we are around here!)