No

"No."

What comes to mind when you hear that word? And how do you react? I find that although I am 40 (gulp) years old, I tend to immediately get defiant when I hear it. I automatically think, "Is THAT right?" or "Who are YOU to tell me no?" Isn't that so childish?

I don't like to be told no. Ask anyone who knows me. Tell me no, and I'll take it as a personal challenge. I'm going to get you to say yes if it kills us both. I like to "win" that battle.

But I do know that God wants me to be obedient. And I understand that with that obedience comes a whole bunch of "no" or "not right now" moments. And if I wasn't so hell bent on defying His plan, then I'm sure my life would remain less complicated, and I'd worry a lot less.

There was a theory in parenting when my cousin was born that if you never used the word no, but offered alternative ideas to the child, you would get farther with them. I still recall travelling to Houston to visit them and my aunt telling us, "We don't tell Amber no." I thought my grandfather's head was going to spin off, and yet he remained very calm and didn't say a word. I was about 10 or 11, and even I thought it was ridiculous. See? I was even defiant about NOT being told no.

(Don't ask me how it turned out. I was a kid and don't remember. But Amber is a great girl, so I guess there could have been something to it.)

As a Godwin, I am naturally stubborn. We Godwins really like things our way. (Right Sarah?) So I have a lot of support for this affliction! We all do it - and oddly we are prideful about it too!! It seems the reperucussions of our pride just aren't as important to us as "winning the argument." Yes, pray for our spouses. They probably need a support group.

So...all that to say....

My goal this month is to be more obedient. To stop looking for a way to defy every "no" I get - whether it's from God, Kerry, friends, or even the cashier at the grocery store. When I read a passage in a book that tells me to stop or change, I am going to do my best to think of HOW I can do it rather than my normal, "Oh yeah? Sit back and watch me!"

I'll still have my opinions. And I'm sure I won't be perfect in my quest for obedience. But I'm going to give it my best shot. Pray for me....!!

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