Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It's Just a Feeling..

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” ~~Gilda Radner.

Gosh. How many times in my life have I felt that way? Just wanted the perfect outcome to a situation. Wanted it tied up with a pretty little bow sitting on a special shelf in my memory. I guess I've learned over time that every ending is really just the beginning of something new. I have had to resign myself to the fact that life is messy. That means all that is left is dealing with the feelings that accompany that ending/new beginning. Some choose therapy. Others choose escape. Obviously, I choose words.

But have you ever wished for a special talent to express yourself? Some way to get your feelings out without having to SAY anything? It's one of my many wishes in be able to put my feelings out there and not have to explain them. Just to get them OUT for my own benefit.

I have always envied musicians their ability to show raw emotion without having to explain it. You can see it in they way play - and in their faces as they feel the music. They are able to express themselves so completely through their instrument. It's so pure. (Even when singers belt out some great lyrics, you can tell the ones that really touched them to the core. I sang my whole life, but I'm not sure I ever lost myself in song the way some do. I was too worried about someone listening!)

Painters and artists use their mediums as well. Sometimes just the stroke of a brush can show you where his or her mind was at the time of the painting.

It makes me jealous to be honest. I just want to be able to lose myself in music or song or art....get it all out. I think it'd be better than a good cry is to me sometimes. Because I could use it for all occasions! Not just the sad ones. A way to work out all those ending and beginning emotions....ahhh that would be so nice!

In the meantime, I guess you are stuck with my blogging about it.

Don't you feel lucky? ;)


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