Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Oh NO you didn't, girlfriend!

God save me from my friends - I can protect myself from my enemies.” ~ Proverb

I know I just talked about how great my "girls" are. You read that I love them so much - and that I can't live without them. Too bad I have to follow that love fest with a complaint about teenage girls and their lack of maturity.

Remember middle school? Come on...think hard. Mine involved a lot of mini skirts, Madonna-ish outfits, feathered hair, big bangs, crushes on boys....and lots of teenage angst over friend troubles. (I know many of you are reading this and lived through it with me.)

I think I escaped those years mostly unscathed thanks to really good friends who reminded me that the things which seemed "end of times" important would not matter in the grand scheme of life. Some of that even carried into college.

However, I have decided it's much harder to watch my own child go through it than it was to live through myself. Especially when your child is as tender hearted and caring as mine. She doesn't have the "chutzpah" of her sassy mother. She'll stand up for a friend but never stand up for herself. And she's softer and more careful in her actions. Even when she's all but acting like the spawn of Satan at home, she is respectful and kind in public. She's not perfect - but from my biased opinion - she's a fabulous girl who anyone would love to have as a friend.

That being said....We had a situation this week that darn near sent me over the edge. In fact, my blood pressure still elevates when I think about it. Apparently, the unwritten rule about dating your friends' exbeau now extends to 8th grade. And there seems to be no time limit on that....nor does the size of the school and/or group matter. It's just the rule. *I had no idea it started so early or that it was so urgent. I was quickly informed in a panicked phone call where Gracey was sobbing uncontrollably.

A girl who can loosely be defined as a friend decides to "date" (a term that loosely means text each other and sit next to each other at stuff occasionally) a boy Gracey once dated and "set free". She's not a BEST friend. She's not even a friend that hangs out with us regularly. But a friend nonetheless...according to the rules, I guess.  Fine.

I listen compassionately. Insert "I'm so sorry" and "I love you" along the way.  I give the lecture about it being middle school, advise her to STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS, forbid her from offering advice to either person in the relationship and assure her that we won't be buying a wedding gift anytime soon for the happy couple.

All seems fine. I did my motherly part. Gracey cries herself to sleep but she pulls it together and moves on.

*Scene change:  School Pep Rally

During the pep rally, my baby is introduced with her swim team (you may now applaud) during which said couple from earlier scene is sitting together. Boy just sits there and girl CLEARLY gets snarky about Gracey. She gets this tacky look on her face, start commenting to another girl about MY child and just generally acts like most middle school girls act when they feel threatened. I'm sure it's perfectly acceptable behavior amongst 8th grade girls. They probably all do it at one time or another. Heck, I've probably done it.

And yet it took all the self control in my body not to climb those bleachers and take matters into my own hands.... I can't even describe incredibly angry that made me. It was serendipitous that I was standing in the perfect position to make eye contact with said girl as she nearly choked on her own tongue. I

Irrational ideas came to mind. I'm not going to lie. It was very difficult to function the rest of the day. And I am so thankful that Gracey had no clue it even occurred. (Hopefully she doesn't read my blog....) But I still haven't let it go completely. I'm hoping writing about it will help. Because little snarky girls CAN grow up to be big nice girls. I believe it. I've seen it. And I'll be praying for it.

In the meantime, I'll be picking out a few voodoo dolls for future use..... anyone have a good link to share?


Courtney said...

Maybe this one - with a slight alteration???

So sorry this happened! I can only imagine - and unfortunately - I'm sure I'll experience it soon enough. (sigh)

Jimmy Gowdy said...

Tell her to hit her in the face it works pretty good for boys.

Charee said...

LOL - Jimmy!!

Margaret Brown said...

Girls are just mean!! We've had the same experience at our house too. I'm sorry to say but you will probably have this same scenario repeated a few more times and I know how terrible it is to sit back and do nothing! Occupational hazard of motherhood. At least you got one evil, eye locking stare in! Let me know how the voodoo doll works out. I could use 1 or 2 for some out of town folks ;)

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