Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Handy Boobs!

So I got into this hilarious conversation about body parts with a friend. Through random conversation, we ended talking about their redeeming qualities.

Don't get all worked up. It wasn't sexual in nature. It was one of those general conversations that you have at the end of the day where one subject morphs into another and pretty soon everything gets silly.

For the ladies!!
He, being a guy, seems to think derrieres are preferable to any other.  (What's that about showing your butt? Didn't I write about that once? Hmm..)  I replied, "I'm glad my husband doesn't feel that way." For I was "blessed" with a very flat behind. There's nothing cute and round about it. I'll never stop traffic with my badonkadonk unless I'm accidentally standing in the middle of the street and a scooter crashes into me.

He was extolling all the values of the nice ass - and what style underwear he thinks should be worn. (Apparently thongs are out, ladies. You are supposed to be their eye candy in boy shorts. Don't mind the constant riding up of the fabric...or the uncomfortable spot they sit on your butt cheeks. Oh wait. Maybe only flatties experience that... hmm.. nevermind.  Just do it and be called fabulous.)

I tried to explain that I see more value in boobs. (Now THIS is a subject I can discuss. Because, by golly, I've got boobs....regardless of their placement on my body. They are THERE.) I told him they are handy. His reply: "I doubt they have THAAAT many uses to label them as 'handy'."  And that's when it became apparent that he doesn't have any.

To that end, I bring to you the many uses for boobs:

*They offer distraction.  - Oh don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. A little cleavage is always a game changer. Good or bad - it happens. A little boobage can insight fury amongst women and men alike. The women can't focus because they are analyzing.. "Are those real? Has she had work done?" And the men just can't focus "Pant. Pant. Pant. Pant."

*They encourage support. - When all seems lost in an argument...the ticket is being written...the answer is about to be no... you can be rest assured that a nice set of Ta Tas will likely turn the tide on the unfortunate situation. You don't have to flaunt them. Just having them seems to help out. Big or little...they are a great accessory to any girl's winning personality.

*They promote happiness.  - I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure the only one who complains about her boobs is the girl wearing them. Everyone else seems pretty darn happy with them. I know you all want to comment on this one.

*They provide hours of entertainment.  - How many times have you discussed them?  Be honest. Oh...and guys....get your mind back on the blog please. I know what you are thinking.

And...of course.....

*Wars have likely been fought over them. Of that, I have very little doubt. So they are clearly handy....

Needless to say, we never really got to the bottom (pa dump bump) of the conversation. But knowing this guy, he'd probably have to agree with me that while physical body parts have their merit, a great sense of humor is worth a thousand......umm.... boobs? *hmm....


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