Sunday, March 18, 2012

And then along came a girl....

I knew it would happen. *sniff*  Really. I did.

It's expected that Billy would eventually find a good girl that I'd approve of...and thereby become truly important. (Why do I have a feeling that I'm going to be in big trouble for this blog entry?)

You knew it would happen too. Heck - you probably saw it coming long before I did because those of you raising boys have been "boy moms" MUCH longer than I. Y'all have had years to prepare yourselves for the "girlfriend" phase. For the possibility that one of those girls along the way will be part of your family.

I haven't.  I'm a newbie. BA (before adoption) - I had a marginal influence on his choice of girls. I'd voice my opinion, and he'd just keep dating her.... then he'd have to return to tell me I was right. And I'd gloat. haha

I met a few whom he considered "potential wives" along the way; but, I definitely knew none of them were keepers. Some were cute. I guess. Most were skanky.... silly...ridiculous....unworthy...icky....

Oh. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let's just say none of them even came close to living up to the expectations I have for the girl who might someday bear my grandchildren. Or who will be an example to my perfectly precious girls.

But when one that I really like came along, I was ecstatic. Elated. Thrilled. Excited.

Altogether happy.

So why does part of me cringe and worry?? I find myself wavering between praying my oh-so-perfect son doesn't screw up this great opportunity and just being sad that my alpha girl days will most certainly come to an end sooner than later. Ridiculous, right?  I know.

I mean....I am thankful that my mother in law raised such a great man to pass off to me. And I'm thankful that she welcomed me with open arms and has always been so sweet to me. So I'm supposed to pay it forward with mine. It's a responsibility.

Don't get me wrong. This potential girl is great in every sense of the word. I love her already. She's smart. She has goals. She is pretty and sweet and honest. We seem to think and say the same things.  Heck, I'd date her! haha!  And my darling son is well aware that I'll be furious if he messes this chance up as he works the relationship puzzle. If it doesn't work, it has to be her fault and not his. ;)

Then there's that nagging realization that if they fall in love, his future decisions will all be based on what is best for him and his new family. Not his old, raggedy family...but his new, cute lovable one. The one he'll have for the rest of his life. That's great, right?

Of course it is. It's great. Especially if that cute, lovable family becomes part of the old, raggedy one - and brings gorgeous grandchildren. I'll eventually gain more than I'd ever lose.

Too bad it makes me melancholy. Maybe it's because it all seems so fast. Not having all those formative years has made me selfish. Made me want him all to myself until I'm ready to let go.... which is one day past NEVER.

*sigh* Ok. Time has nothing to do with it. Who am I kidding??? It's just a boy mom thing.

So there ya go. I'm not good at sharing. But I'll be doing my damnedest to improve. And it's given me a new appreciation for my mother in law and her feelings. I hope she hasn't felt as teary as I feel just CONSIDERING the future.

And this all leads me to wonder how I'll be with my perfect girls and their future husbands. Stay tuned. Thankfully I have many years to figure it out.

To end on a funny note, read this great blog entry about boys and moms. You'll crack up...


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