Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Strong Enough to Bend

But I do nothing upon myself, and yet I am my own executioner. ~ John Donne

We all know them. We might not always RECOGNIZE them, but we definitely know them.

They are the self sabotaging people. The ones that want to hurt us before we hurt them. Or the ones that place blame anywhere but in their courts in order to deflect any possible responsibility from landing themselves.

I don't ever want to be that person. Regardless of my actions or feelings, I hope I take responsibility for them - right or wrong. And I certainly don't intend to ever take my friendships for granted and treat others as though they must accept all blame in every situation. And I will not go on the attack and treat a friend with disrespect and hate when I am feeling out of control of my own world.

That's not always been the case. I'm sure I blamed my insecurities and failures on others when I was younger. Didn't we all? The saying is true that maturity is wasted on the aged. ha! I could have used some of my self-instructed psychosomatic advice years and years ago.

You are probably wondering what has driven me pontificate about self sabotagers, right?

Well, it's a really long story. And it would bore you to tears because it's just a bunch of crap that isn't worth rehashing. But I can sum it up like this:

Once upon a time, there was a friend who befriended someone. And that someone gained a spot in her "inner circle" - which by the way is fairly small. Once in the inner circle, that someone didn't really know how to be there. Someone was self absorbed, somewhat demanding and definitely an energy sucker, but the friend was convinced that everyone needs to be someone to somebody. (haha)  And when that someone finally pushed the friend to the point that she stood up for herself and said she was frustrated, that someone tried to make her the bad guy. And said hurtful things for no reason. 

That's vague, I know. But I bet you could plug in your name and someone else's name to recreate this exact story, couldn't you? There's no need to add all the nitty gritty details as those few sentences describe so many situations and friendships. How sad! Blah! What a waste of friendship.

There are just people out there that don't know how to handle relationships. And I really think they are afraid of them. They think they are getting to close to someone or they think they might have to consider someone else's feelings in a situation. Or the amount of self loathing has just been piled so high that they can't possibly imagine that a friend will be there through thick or thin. So they just get really nasty and try to push as hard as they can....make it super thick and terribly thin. 

Then those someones just sit back and wait to see what will happen. They make sure they do everything they can to keep from getting hurt or getting "dropped." 

It's a shame really. And something I don't altogether understand. 

The irony is that someone didn't count on a friend like me. One that won't just walk away.

Push as hard as you can.

In the words of Tanya Tucker, I'm "strong enough to bend." (You're welcome for the earworm....sing it with me... haha)

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