Famous Last Words..

“Some people wonder all their lives if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem.”

~ Ronald Reagan

I wasn't going to do it.

I even "said" it outloud in a email.

Specifically, "I am going to try to refrain from blogging about the trials and tribulation of having a child in the military."  But here I go...my son is a Marine. And I am so proud of him! I was very supportive of his decision to serve his country. And he is doing it so honorably.

But he is also deploying.

We've known this all along. We knew he wouldn't serve 4 years and never have to deploy. We also knew that were numerous possibilities. So imagine how thrilled we were when he said he was going on the Marine Expeditionary Unit? A nice, clean, safe deployment.....in the ocean for 7 months. No Iraq. No danger. Sad? Yes. Do-able? Absolutely. Exciting for our Marine? A little - but probably not what he'd expected. They train them to want to get in the trenches. (But they don't train their MOTHERS for that.)

As you saw last week, I was preparing for a roadtrip to bring his stuff home. Bought the one way ticket on Monday. His estimated departure was the end of September-ish. We'd have him for 10 whole days. The longest we've seen him at one time since he left for basic training.

Nothing like having a child in the military - and experiencing all the 'surprises' that go with it! We found out this week that he's leaving a LOT sooner. His MEU is a humanitarian one, so all the recent flooding, etc. in Pakistan has changed all the plans.  Remember that 10 days? Not happening. And that roadtrip? Nope.

Needless to say, I'm sad. We've been quickly getting travel arrangements made to see him a few days and pick up his belongings before he leaves. And I'm certainly thankful that we'll get that time. But....at the end of the day, I'm just sad.

This military mom stuff is a LOT harder than I'd expected! I'm not complaining. Well......maybe I am. But I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world. I just didn't realize how hard it would be to see one of my children do something like this! I'd been through it with my brother (who served in Iraq TWICE) - but it didn't feel like this.  I thought I'd hold it together a little better. Instead, I'm just flat whiny!

There's no way to describe this gut-wrenching fear I have of him deploying. Or the intense sadness I have that he doesn't get to come home and sleep in his own bed before he leaves. Or the disappointment our entire family is experiencing over all our plans getting changed - again. 

And even with all of that.......the pride is even more undescribable.  My son is part of something bigger than himself. He will be helping people who cannot help themselves. He's a hero. And I know he will make a difference. I am extremely proud.

So........when you see me walking around with tears in my eyes - and I seem a little less "Charee" than normal - you know why.

It's all going to be ok. It's all going to be ok. It's all going to be ok.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." ~ Jeremiah 29:11