Closer to Fine

“It’s not about the ashes, for they tell a tale of what was. It’s about having a vision sufficient to understand that the tale that lies among the ashes stands ready to build the dream that will rise above the ashes.” ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

It's been an exciting week!

With the exception of few touch ups, new decor, and some window painting, it's done!! The first phase of Charee's "This is Home" renovations are complete. It feels really good to have something fresh and new while maintaining all the amazing memories we created here. I won't lie - it's definitely been more emotional than I expected. The excitement, trepidation, and grief all rolled up into one project was exhausting. (Part of that may be the frustration involved with having to rely on others to do it! I was really spoiled with a handy husband who did things to perfection.) 

I love it!

But now I have a beautifully painted house and a gorgeous new kitchen! Plus I was blessed to have a lot of support along the way from some pretty amazing tribe members (you know who you are).

So, once again, I am reminded that change is good; and, out the ashes of loss, happiness can be found. I don't have to let go of what was - but I need to step out of the smoke and fire to see what possibility lies ahead. And I have to remember to be brave. I have no doubt that Kerry would love the changes and be super proud of me for doing it. He'd also have a bleeding ulcer by now, but let's focus on the positives!

In progress

The girls and I went to the mountains earlier this month with some of our favorite people. A change of scenery was so good for my soul. We hiked to a waterfall, sat on the back deck of the house and drank coffee, watched the deer and marmots, and just relaxed. Getting out of town and feeling normal was good. There was no construction zone there, and it was a fresh, new place that didn't hold memories that take my breath away. It was a chance to make new memories. And we all know I love making memories! It was good to see the girls have fun.

When we came home, everything kicked into high gear. All three kids have some big change coming their way too. Billy and his family are moving back to town - HALLELUJAH - so preparing for that is big. Between buying and selling their houses AND getting ready for a new baby, their change is big! Gracey and her precious boyfriend are moving to a new place, and Sadie will return to college in a couple weeks, which entails a LOT of change on top of the normal college move-in angst. (Social distancing in a sorority house is a major oxymoron.) 

So, I'm not sure any of us will have time to even think about last July and August. Being busy definitely helps, I think. We don't have time to dwell on all the stress that started last year at this time because we have new stress.

Life is good. It's different but good. Those differences come with new beginnings and new things to make us smile. I can't wait to snuggle a new baby and get those exciting phone calls from OSU. Watching Gracey grow into such an amazing, confident lady makes my heart swell with pride. And I look forward to cooking dinner in my new kitchen and spending time making some new memories too.

It's ok to build above the ashes. It's acceptable to sit in them and cry too. I get to do both. But I won't let the ashes steal my future. So, here we go.

Phase 1 is complete.

Hold on. I think Phase 2 is going to be interesting!

And go listen to this song. It'll take you Gen Xers back to college....but it's just so good.